Kevin Hand-watch: A nod to our Radio commentary heroes past and present - we salute you!

Mark Kidger (@MarkFromMadrid)

•    Playfair Cricket Annual has arrived? – CHECK!!
•    Weather a little dodgy? – CHECK!!
•    Polar bears cleared off the outfield in St. John’s Wood? – CHECK!!
•    Kevin Hand predicts promotion for Middlesex? – CHECK!!!

Yes! The cricket season has arrived in all its glory. The Malaga suntan is fading. The Star Wars toys have been put away until the end of September. A new muzzle has been bought for his nemesis, DT, who one can predict with total security will arrive just in time for his free Lunch in the media centre (“Sorry Kev! Was that the last ball before Lunch as I walked in?”) And when Kevin announces “it’s grey and miserable at Lord’s”, you can be sure that he is not referring to the current weather but, instead, to DT’s imminent irruption on the microphone, with his glowing observations on the perfection of Paul Stirling’s slog over cow corner.

Cricket is back. Another season of optimism… at least until reality intrudes in the form of results on the field.

There is though, one thing missing. A few weeks ago “DC” – Dave Callaghan – died suddenly and unexpectedly at a relatively young age. His cheery voice will be sadly missed. DC leaves big shoes to fill. However, there is still the Girdler, Marty “It’s grim down south” Emmerson, Bradders, Adrian Harms, Bob Hunt, Churchie, Scott Read, Matt Coles, Kevin James, …  Yes, we are truly blessed with some wonderful commentators who fill the internet with vivid pictures of what is going on down on the field. Some years ago the BBC bemoaned that they did not know where the next generation of cricket commentators for TMS would come from: for Dessert Island cricket you could do worse than to have Hand, Bracegirdle, Emmerson (captain and headmaster) and Bradley on the comms, with “expert” summary from DT and Jonny Barran: win or lose, you would enjoy listening.

Amazingly, with rain taking its toll around the country, the stream was up before 10:30, the effects mic live and filled with sounds of activity. This was a nice detail because it meant that the Toss, playing XIs and other ground announcements could be heard as if one were in the ground. Kev even tweeted a picture of the ground: which though of the emerald green strips of turf is the pitch? This could end in tears!
Cheery hello from Kev, introduces co-comm, Alex Winter. Silence… Kev: “That’s a good start! The microphone doesn’t work!”
County cricket commentary is back.
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And the highlight of the morning? Remember that “don’t mention the war!” sketch in Fawlty Towers? The first hour was marked with desperate attempts not to mention: “Middlesex’s 2017 season”, “rakes”, “the ECB”, … It was as if the old swear box was back in the TMS box, with the prohibition on Kevin mentioning football and the IPL! The scars of the trauma of 2017 make take some time to heal in our hero.

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